Life comes with all shades of emotions-the
green jealousy, the blue sadness, the black resistance, the yellow joy, the red
boldness, the purple royalty etc and if you want to see all of these
together-
WELCOME TO CHENNAI.
Starting from my radio alarm early in the
morning which goes “Hellloooooooooo
Chennai kaya moya kaya moya kaalaile coffee kaya moya moya Gemini Bridge samme
traffic kaya moya kaya moya moya”- I’m looking back to the times when the
radio channels actually played music and make a mental note to switch to the
good old “gadigaram” from today.I move out of my bed and I hear my neighbor Aunty shouting at her kids in spite of their pleas “Amma five nimits ma pleeaaase. Please Amma” (Poor
kids. Thank God I started working).
Then my sister ,who has to catch the
college bus at 6.30 A.M is packing her record notes into her bag with one hand
while talking on the phone with the
other -“Hey where is the bus?...What it crossed Loyola college huh?.....Please
ask driver to wait de…. Pleaseee”
Then my Dad who is the kind of person who
can find adventure even in mediocre things runs out to get his bike and says
“Come fast. We can chase the bus” while my sister follows him out with my mom
running behind her back with the tiffin box and doesn’t make it in time to give
it to my sister. She hurries back, sees me drinking my coffee and shouts at me
“Can’t you see she left her tiffin box? Can you take your bike and chase your
dad?”
I partially convince her that there is a
unit called “canteen” in the college and that my sister would be able to get
herself a “decent” lunch (God, please forgive me for lying ).I try
to avoid all the voices drilling my head and try to keep myself under the
surface.
And then –THE RUSH HOUR.
In Chennai, Rush Hour can be defined as the
time during which an Innova car, an Avenger bike, an Auto and two Splendours
try to enter a gap between the lorry and the bus all at the same time or the
time during which the policeman, the zebra-crossing pedestrian, the bus driver
and the unemployed lungi clad passer-by
start having a bad-worded conversation in the middle of the four road junction.
Can anything get worse? Apparently it can.
I’m what they call “the girl in the guys’ bike” and I’m certainly not the
exaggerating type. To all those friends who feel that me driving the Hero Honda
Splendour is the coolest thing that you can tell your mom’s over dinner-there’s more to it than coolness. And to that friend who said
that “Thank God you’re from Chennai and not from a conservative village like me
“-this post is for you. That conservative village is better than the
pretentious Chennai. I can prove that with the following case studies
CASE 1: YOUNG MEN
COMMENT:
“Take a look Machan. This is Chennai” and they try to break, skid, do Snake Babu
Stunts causing commotion on the road and they go vroom vroom vrooooooooooooo*&^%#$#@
Wham*
Their eight has just become seven and a half!
CASE 2: MIDDLE AGED MEN
COMMENT: “Don’t know where the country is
leading us to” (with a sad sigh)-but sorry Uncle ,until and unless you’re
the President I feel you need not torture yourself with your visions for the
country.
CASE 3: OLD MEN
COMMENT: “Dear why do you need such a big vehicle?”-
I’m sorry Sir, it’s all I got but I would be glad to see you sponsor for a new
scooter.
NOTE: Case 1,Case 2 and Case 3 has no much
difference-they are all just boys categorised in the above manner purely based
on the amount of hair on their head and their degree of baldness.
I have seen a lot of
men driving a pink Scooty Pep but it has never affected me personally. I
somehow get through this rush hour running a favorite song in my head and
reach my office. It starts all over again.
With the above rate it’s no doubt that 1 in
5 adults in Chennai have hypertension or BP. So how do you manage without
giving into the emotions around you? You can follow my take it easy policy that I
have stated below
-When someone is screaming at you just
recite to yourself “I’m not going to get the Hypertension. I’m not going to get
the Heart attack never ever never ever ever ever ever ever”
-If someone shouts a bad word at you on the
road, think to yourself “Kanna bad works speaking na bad tension coming and you
getting bad nurse put BP tablet into the bad mouth ehaa ha ha”
-With the summer on the way these emotions
are going to run high along with the sweat and hypertension. So before leaving
home drink chilled moar or watermelon
juice and don’t forget to wear your deodorant.
- And if everything else goes out of hand
just imagine the person screaming before you do the gangnam style.
OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!
No comments:
Post a Comment